Balmy

"Fantastic!" I said holding the glass towards the sun, having orange and red blobs floating around on my face, a small thing, to hold your lovely letters and papers down, the hand written sign said, and I am not sure if it was because of the use the glass was meant for or the orange and red blotches it gave my face, but I decided to buy it, to sit inspiring me on the window sill.

We went on, so much to see, trying to see every stall afraid of missing out on wonderful things, the sun had been slowly strolling higher and higher on the late morning sky and both of us had all ready finished our water bottles. Sweat was sliding down my back, down my face and I felt like somewhat of an opera diva strolling around with a big hat shading my eyes and a face towel to wipe the much hated sweat - you on the other hand looked as cool as you were walking around with you own AC unit built in your blond head!

I was getting really irritated by your sophisticated look just as you suggested sitting down for a minute in the shade, under a Gum tree and as by magic handing me a bottle of very cold water, ”without all the fizziness for you darling!” you said with that smile of yours - if only I could say it was a toothy smile, but not even that you could give me. I looked at you with a scowel, ”why are you so chirpy then?!” ”Because I’ve met someone” - ”and before you go all ”traumatised” on me with your ”do you really need a man in your life to be happy speech” it is not a man - it is a woman.”

”I’m sorry, think I must have snoozed there for a minute, not a what did you say?!” I am gay, and I have met a great woman who makes the most beautiful pottery and breads real ugly cats, the ones without noses you know?!” ”Close your gob or you’ll swallow a fly!!” ”You mean she breeds Persian cats?!” I asked, ”is that all you got out of what I just said?!”your sholders slumping, ”no, but I need some more water to process the rest of it!

That’s for my spite I thought, making all those assumptions without actually knowing, not having taken time to keep an open mind and not just bulldoze her down the same perfect avenue as all the other beautiful people in the world, if you are beautiful, in my mind, you have not a problem in the world. Having lived my life as a fatty for the last 10 years, well, I just had not realised how judgemental I have been. I was thinking that THEY, they being the beautiful people walked around the world looking at me and judging me by my fatness, and I had done it for them, insulting myself, at the same time I was being judgmental myself - ironic that.

”You know, it never crossed my mind that you were gay or rather could be gay, I thought that as you are so beautiful a) you have NO problems, b) and you LOVED men and being in a relationship - not able to be alone.” I said this while trying to wipe the back of my neck with a drenched face towel, you looked at me for some time in silence and I was worried that I had upset you, only to find myself looking into the back of your throat as you were choking with laughter. ”Didn’t realise that what I said was that funny” I said a bit put out, you punched me, I fell over like a beached whale, I hit the grassy knoll and started caterwauling down the slope, and I just could not stop my decent, nor the bubbling rolling laughter spilling out of my mouth between spitting out grass and other not so savoury items not meant for human consumption.

Ok, I actually rolled myself down that slight hill, it just felt like the thing to do, after realising silliness in my own reasoning, what else was there? And so it hit me, this is my first friend who is a woman and gay - does that still make me a gay hog or is that solely for male gay friends and their female admires?!

”For someone so worried about what other people might think about you, you are fascinatingly self-centred, friend of mine, lets get back to that market, we are looking for the perfect most wonderful thing remember!” Up the hill we went and picking up our bags, brushing of my ego our search went on.

After an interestingly hot and balmy tour of all the stalls I had found my other most wonderful perfect thing, a picture frame from early 1920s with a beautiful photo of a woman inside, like an old travelling clock - but as a frame instead, your find was a bag full of old lace. That was our day done, buying some travelling food, we settled in the car with the AC going full blast and chatted about Moira - Ellies new sweet thing - it was a rather perfect day.

To long ago